Chapter 51 - Obsession

At the time, I had a wife, and to say she wasn't thrilled with all the attention I was giving to Russell Brand would be an understatement. I was beyond obsessed. It wasn't just a passing interest or a fan's admiration; it was as though my whole existence had become intertwined with his every move, every tweet, every video. I had an unhealthy fixation, fuelled by my own curiosity, the bizarre moments we shared, and, dare I say, a sense of a hidden connection that I couldn't shake off.

My wife, on the other hand, wasn’t blind to it. She could see how much mental energy I was pouring into this obsession, how my thoughts and attention were consumed by the idea that Russell and I had this strange, almost mystical bond. And to her, it felt like I was neglecting the reality of our life together.

I wasn't blind to it either. There were moments when I could see her growing distant, her patience thinning. She would sigh, give me side glances, and try to bring me back to the present. "Why do you care so much?" she'd ask, "It's just some celebrity." But for me, it wasn’t about the celebrity; it was about the belief that there was something deeper, something significant, that linked us beyond the surface. It wasn’t just obsession—it was as though I was waiting for some cosmic alignment that could explain everything.

There were days when I’d snap back to reality, see her sitting across from me, and realise I was losing touch with what mattered. But the pull of Russell’s world was magnetic, and even if I wanted to shift my focus, I couldn't help but wonder: Was this part of something bigger? Some sign? Some mission that I had to follow through with?

The tension between us grew, as did my disconnection from the life I’d known before Russell entered the picture. I felt like I was drifting further away, living in two worlds: the one with my wife, and the one where I was chasing these strange connections and trying to make sense of the cosmic puzzle that was Russell Brand.

But it wasn’t just about Russell anymore. It had become about something deeper—a search for meaning, a quest to understand why I was so drawn to this journey. And in that search, I had to ask myself: Was I losing my grip on everything I once valued?

And so began my psychosis—or perhaps, what some might call a Messiah complex. It’s not an easy thing to admit, looking back, but at the time, I was utterly convinced that the universe itself was sending me messages. Fixated doesn’t even begin to cover it; I was obsessed with the colour blue. It wasn’t just a preference or a passing interest—it became a kind of lens through which I saw the world, a symbol that seemed to hold profound meaning, as though it were some sort of cosmic breadcrumb leading me to... well, something.

It all started when David Bowie released Blackstar. That album—it felt like it was speaking directly to me, like Bowie himself had tapped into some hidden knowledge that I was just beginning to understand. From that moment, blue and the Moon were everywhere. Or, at least, I thought they were.

One of the most notable occurrences—and one that solidified my belief that there was more to this than coincidence—was when Noel Gallagher released Who Built the Moon? Supposedly, the album was named after a conspiracy book of the same name, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was more personal than that. Noel was close friends with Russell Brand, after all. Could Russell have shared my story with him? Was this Noel’s way of acknowledging me, of continuing the conversation?

Then came the Blue Moon Rising EP. At that point, I was living in cloud cuckoo land. It wasn’t just music anymore—it was validation. Every time I heard a lyric about the Moon or saw the colour blue in an album cover, a music video, or even just a passing reference, it felt like the universe was aligning around me. It wasn’t just a coincidence—it couldn’t be. In my mind, this was proof that I was on some kind of divine mission.

Of course, to anyone else, it would have sounded crazy. And maybe it was. But to me, in those moments, it was as real as the ground beneath my feet. The Moon, the colour blue, pineapples, Bowie, Noel—they were all part of a story that I was convinced I was meant to unravel. I was the central figure in a narrative that spanned music, art, and the cosmos itself.

Looking back, I can see how it might have seemed like madness. But at the time? It was magic. Pure, unfiltered magic. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was on the verge of discovering something extraordinary.

I lived in that headspace for many, many years, perpetually seeing signs and receiving what I interpreted as positive reassurance that I was on the right path. Every song, every symbol, every coincidental occurrence felt like a secret message just for me, as though the universe itself had become my personal guide. It was a strange, electrifying existence—a life half in reality and half in some kind of cosmic daydream.

I’d wake up each morning and carry on with my job, interact with colleagues, and fulfil my responsibilities. On the surface, I was just another regular person navigating the usual ups and downs of life. But in my mind, I was living a parallel narrative, one where I was the protagonist of a grand, unfolding story.

My marriage somehow weathered those years, though I can’t imagine how challenging it must have been for my wife to watch me veer so far into this all-encompassing obsession. She was patient in ways I probably didn’t deserve, quietly enduring as I connected dots that no one else could see and as I spoke about signs and symbols with an intensity that must have been exhausting to listen to.

Work, too, was a precarious balance. It’s a testament to my resilience—or perhaps my ability to compartmentalise—that I managed to hold it all together. I was able to meet deadlines, contribute to projects, and maintain the façade of someone fully grounded, even as my mind was constantly buzzing with a thousand otherworldly thoughts.

Looking back, I can see the tightrope I was walking. One wrong step and everything could have come crashing down—my career, my relationships, my sense of stability. But somehow, I kept my balance. And through it all, the signs kept coming, urging me forward, telling me to keep going. It was a strange kind of comfort, a reassurance that even when life felt overwhelming or uncertain, there was some larger purpose guiding me.

It’s odd to reflect on now, to remember a time when every moment felt steeped in meaning, like every choice and every encounter was part of a divine plan. I didn’t understand it all then, and I’m not sure I fully do now. But I know this: those years, as bizarre and intense as they were, shaped me in ways I’m still coming to terms with.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 10 - Menage: A Story of Love, Loss, and Chosen Family

Growing up in a ménage à trois wasn’t just some outlandish experience; it was the foundation of my worldview. I didn’t see it as unusual. It was my norm, my reality. My mother’s love was abundant and multi-faceted, and her partners were as much a part of our family as anyone. There was no jealousy, no animosity, no hidden resentments. Just an open space of care and understanding. To me, it seemed like the perfect kind of family.

But when my non-biological father, the one who was the more traditional figure in my life, asked her to make a choice, it was like watching the house of cards fall. And when she chose him, it was a kind of heartbreaking affirmation that the world outside didn’t understand, or maybe even accept, the way we had lived.

I was 17 at the time—old enough to understand the emotional gravity of the situation but still young enough to feel betrayed by the change. In a way, my mom’s decision represented the same pull the world outside had over me: the world was dictating what was acceptable, and now I had to learn how to adjust to that.

Chapter 9 - Luck child

When I was young, someone once called me a “luck child.” I didn’t understand it at the time, and to be honest, I’m not sure I still fully do. It was one of those phrases that just stuck with me, like a little puzzle that I couldn’t quite solve. I often wondered if it was a compliment or something else entirely, but I couldn’t shake it.

As I grew older, the phrase kept circling in my mind, a strange kind of whisper that never quite faded. There were times when I felt like the universe had it out for me, but then there were these odd moments—random moments—where everything just fell into place. It wasn’t like I was living a charmed life or anything. There were struggles, plenty of them. But even in the midst of hardship, I seemed to find myself in situations that felt... well, a little too perfect.

Chapter 8 - A Sick Nod from the Universe

Music has always been the soundtrack to my life. From the moment I first pressed play on a cassette player, it was like opening a door to a whole new dimension. Growing up, Nirvana was the band for me—a raw, unapologetic voice that spoke to the angsty teenager I was. So, when my parents surprised me with tickets to see Nirvana on their upcoming April 12th show in Cardiff, I was ecstatic. I remember jumping around the room, disbelief and excitement colliding in a way only a teenager can feel.

But then, life, in its cruel and ironic way, decided to intervene. On my birthday—just days before the concert—I woke up to the news that Kurt Cobain took his own life. The tickets, once a symbol of my teenage dreams, became a bitter reminder of his tragic end. What were the odds? My birthday wasn’t just ruined; it felt tainted.

I chalked it up to an eerie coincidence. Until it happened again.

Chapter 7 - A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue

At the time, Duke Nukem 3D was the game, a chaotic, over-the-top playground of action and humour. But for me, playing wasn’t enough—I wanted to create.

One day, the idea struck me: what if I turned my school into a map for Duke Nukem? I’ll admit, it was a bold and slightly mischievous idea, but the thought of navigating those familiar halls with explosions and alien mayhem was too tempting to pass up.

So, I set to work. Piece by piece, I painstakingly recreated the corridors, classrooms, and assembly halls of Brynteg Avenue with every detail I could remember. It wasn’t just a map—it was an immersive experience, a twisted reimagining of school life that turned ordinary routines into an action-packed nightmare. Hence, A Nightmare at Brynteg Avenue was born.

Chapter 6 - Hostile Hits the Halls

Before I knew it, Hostile Magazine was more than just a personal project. It became something bigger—a product. I started distributing copies around school, and before long, it wasn’t just my classmates reading it. I managed to sell advertising space to local businesses, earning a bit of cash in the process.

Looking back, it might have been my most lucrative venture to date, especially considering how naturally it all came together. I wasn’t just creating anymore—I was running a business, even if I didn’t fully realise it at the time.

One of my proudest moments was designing full-colour posters to promote the magazine. They featured a bold image of a gun and some edgy, provocative slogan. At the time, I thought it was clever—half-witty, half-menacing, exactly the kind of provocation Hostile was built on. But in hindsight, it felt careless.

Chapter 5 - Hostile Beginnings

By the time I was 15, everything changed—I had a computer. No more typewriters or scavenging old magazines for pictures. With a keyboard and the infinite possibilities of digital design at my fingertips, I was unstoppable.

That’s when I founded Hostile Magazine. The name wasn’t just a catchy title—it was a declaration of who I was at the time. I was hostile to the world around me, to the endless doubt and disbelief I’d faced growing up. Most of all, I was still furious that no one seemed to believe in aliens yet.

Hostile was my rebellion. It wasn’t just about aliens, though they made frequent appearances in my articles and artwork. It was a place where I could channel my anger, my creativity, and my growing discontent with a world that felt so small-minded.

Chapter 4 - God Mode Philosophy

When I was 15, I discovered something that would blow my creative obsession wide open: Quake. It wasn’t just a game; it was a canvas for chaos, and I had a paintbrush made of code.

I started messing around with the game, diving into its files and hacking it to bits. Before long, I’d customised everything—the characters, the levels, even the dialogue. My friends and I turned death matches into full-blown comedy routines, battling against avatars we’d created to represent ourselves, complete with all our ridiculous trademark sayings.

Imagine a grim, post-apocalyptic battlefield echoing with smack talk like, “Oi, pass me the ketchup!” or “You’re going down faster than last night’s curry!” It was absolutely hilarious. Every frag was met with roaring laughter, not just because someone lost but because the game would scream out some absurd catchphrase we’d forgotten we’d even programmed.

Chapter 3 - Beyond Addicted

I was hooked. The day after The Brackla Tattler launched, I decided I couldn’t stop there. Why wait for a competition when I could make my own newspaper? I got straight to work, fuelled by the rush of creating something from nothing.

This time, the front-page story was even bigger—or at least, it felt that way to me: “Riot at Strangeways Prison!” I was 11 years old, covering prison riots like a seasoned journalist.

Back then, I didn’t even have a computer. I was using my mum’s old typewriter for the text—each clack of the keys a declaration of my ambition. For the visuals, I raided stacks of old magazines, cutting out pictures and headlines to make elaborate collages. My bedroom floor became a sea of scraps, glue sticks, and ink-stained fingers.

I was beyond addicted. There was something magical about piecing it all together, watching a blank page transform into a story people could hold, read, and react to. The process consumed me in the best way.

Chapter 2 - Breaking News

By the time I was 11, I was part of a global competition to create a school newspaper. And thus, The Brackla Tattler was born—a journalistic masterpiece (or so we thought) with a name that suggested the kind of scandal and intrigue we were determined to uncover.

The inaugural issue had a front-page story so wild it could’ve been straight out of a crime thriller. The headline? “Body Parts Found in Bags Across City!”

It was gruesome, sensational, and absolutely perfect for the tone we were going for—true crime meets small-town gossip. I still remember writing it, trying to balance shock value with just enough professionalism to impress the judges.

Even though we were just kids with big dreams and bigger imaginations, that story gave The Brackla Tattler its identity. We weren’t afraid to tackle the dark stuff, even if we barely understood it ourselves.

Chapter 1 - The Alien Among Us

When I first woke up, I was in Bridgend, South Wales—a quiet, unassuming place where nothing out of the ordinary seemed to happen. But even as a kid, I was obsessed with two things: aliens and making magazines.

The alien obsession stemmed from my first truly traumatising memory. I was walking home from school one day with a friend, chatting about whatever kids chat about, when they casually dropped a bombshell: "Aliens are already on Earth, hiding in human bodies."

I swear on my life, I saw one shortly after that. I can still picture it—something inhuman beneath a very human façade. My stomach turned, my heart raced, and from that moment, the world didn’t feel safe anymore. I was terrified.

For months, I couldn’t sleep. Every shadow was suspicious, every sound proof of some otherworldly presence. But when I tried to tell people, nobody believed me. My classmates thought I was crazy. The more I insisted, the harder they laughed. Even my parents decided it was all in my head.

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