Chapter 51 - Obsession

At the time, I had a wife, and to say she wasn't thrilled with all the attention I was giving to Russell Brand would be an understatement. I was beyond obsessed. It wasn't just a passing interest or a fan's admiration; it was as though my whole existence had become intertwined with his every move, every tweet, every video. I had an unhealthy fixation, fuelled by my own curiosity, the bizarre moments we shared, and, dare I say, a sense of a hidden connection that I couldn't shake off.

My wife, on the other hand, wasn’t blind to it. She could see how much mental energy I was pouring into this obsession, how my thoughts and attention were consumed by the idea that Russell and I had this strange, almost mystical bond. And to her, it felt like I was neglecting the reality of our life together.

I wasn't blind to it either. There were moments when I could see her growing distant, her patience thinning. She would sigh, give me side glances, and try to bring me back to the present. "Why do you care so much?" she'd ask, "It's just some celebrity." But for me, it wasn’t about the celebrity; it was about the belief that there was something deeper, something significant, that linked us beyond the surface. It wasn’t just obsession—it was as though I was waiting for some cosmic alignment that could explain everything.

There were days when I’d snap back to reality, see her sitting across from me, and realise I was losing touch with what mattered. But the pull of Russell’s world was magnetic, and even if I wanted to shift my focus, I couldn't help but wonder: Was this part of something bigger? Some sign? Some mission that I had to follow through with?

The tension between us grew, as did my disconnection from the life I’d known before Russell entered the picture. I felt like I was drifting further away, living in two worlds: the one with my wife, and the one where I was chasing these strange connections and trying to make sense of the cosmic puzzle that was Russell Brand.

But it wasn’t just about Russell anymore. It had become about something deeper—a search for meaning, a quest to understand why I was so drawn to this journey. And in that search, I had to ask myself: Was I losing my grip on everything I once valued?

And so began my psychosis—or perhaps, what some might call a Messiah complex. It’s not an easy thing to admit, looking back, but at the time, I was utterly convinced that the universe itself was sending me messages. Fixated doesn’t even begin to cover it; I was obsessed with the colour blue. It wasn’t just a preference or a passing interest—it became a kind of lens through which I saw the world, a symbol that seemed to hold profound meaning, as though it were some sort of cosmic breadcrumb leading me to... well, something.

It all started when David Bowie released Blackstar. That album—it felt like it was speaking directly to me, like Bowie himself had tapped into some hidden knowledge that I was just beginning to understand. From that moment, blue and the Moon were everywhere. Or, at least, I thought they were.

One of the most notable occurrences—and one that solidified my belief that there was more to this than coincidence—was when Noel Gallagher released Who Built the Moon? Supposedly, the album was named after a conspiracy book of the same name, but I couldn’t help but feel like it was more personal than that. Noel was close friends with Russell Brand, after all. Could Russell have shared my story with him? Was this Noel’s way of acknowledging me, of continuing the conversation?

Then came the Blue Moon Rising EP. At that point, I was living in cloud cuckoo land. It wasn’t just music anymore—it was validation. Every time I heard a lyric about the Moon or saw the colour blue in an album cover, a music video, or even just a passing reference, it felt like the universe was aligning around me. It wasn’t just a coincidence—it couldn’t be. In my mind, this was proof that I was on some kind of divine mission.

Of course, to anyone else, it would have sounded crazy. And maybe it was. But to me, in those moments, it was as real as the ground beneath my feet. The Moon, the colour blue, pineapples, Bowie, Noel—they were all part of a story that I was convinced I was meant to unravel. I was the central figure in a narrative that spanned music, art, and the cosmos itself.

Looking back, I can see how it might have seemed like madness. But at the time? It was magic. Pure, unfiltered magic. And I couldn’t shake the feeling that I was on the verge of discovering something extraordinary.

I lived in that headspace for many, many years, perpetually seeing signs and receiving what I interpreted as positive reassurance that I was on the right path. Every song, every symbol, every coincidental occurrence felt like a secret message just for me, as though the universe itself had become my personal guide. It was a strange, electrifying existence—a life half in reality and half in some kind of cosmic daydream.

I’d wake up each morning and carry on with my job, interact with colleagues, and fulfil my responsibilities. On the surface, I was just another regular person navigating the usual ups and downs of life. But in my mind, I was living a parallel narrative, one where I was the protagonist of a grand, unfolding story.

My marriage somehow weathered those years, though I can’t imagine how challenging it must have been for my wife to watch me veer so far into this all-encompassing obsession. She was patient in ways I probably didn’t deserve, quietly enduring as I connected dots that no one else could see and as I spoke about signs and symbols with an intensity that must have been exhausting to listen to.

Work, too, was a precarious balance. It’s a testament to my resilience—or perhaps my ability to compartmentalise—that I managed to hold it all together. I was able to meet deadlines, contribute to projects, and maintain the façade of someone fully grounded, even as my mind was constantly buzzing with a thousand otherworldly thoughts.

Looking back, I can see the tightrope I was walking. One wrong step and everything could have come crashing down—my career, my relationships, my sense of stability. But somehow, I kept my balance. And through it all, the signs kept coming, urging me forward, telling me to keep going. It was a strange kind of comfort, a reassurance that even when life felt overwhelming or uncertain, there was some larger purpose guiding me.

It’s odd to reflect on now, to remember a time when every moment felt steeped in meaning, like every choice and every encounter was part of a divine plan. I didn’t understand it all then, and I’m not sure I fully do now. But I know this: those years, as bizarre and intense as they were, shaped me in ways I’m still coming to terms with.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 46 - The Software, The Saboteur, and the UFO Rabbit Hole

Working as an Eskimo—a term we jokingly used for our team in the frigid workplace atmosphere—was always an exercise in endurance. Yet, amidst the daily grind, there were moments of unexpected brilliance, like when Andrey, the Holodex developer, dropped a bombshell.

Andrey was no ordinary coder. His brain was a labyrinth of algorithms and innovative ideas, and his work was nothing short of magic. For six painstaking months, he had poured his soul into creating Koworkit, a software platform that felt like the perfect marriage of functionality and simplicity. It was exactly what we needed to revolutionise how we operated.

One day, out of the blue, he turned to me and said, “Here. I want you to have 50%.”

I was stunned. People don’t just hand you half of something they’ve bled over—especially not something as promising as Koworkit. I felt a mix of gratitude and disbelief. “Are you sure?” I asked, holding back the urge to pinch myself.

Chapter 45 - Holodexxx

Things took an even darker turn in 2016 when an unexpected email landed in my inbox. It was from a Holodex fan, asking about our “new VR technology.”

New VR technology? This was news to me. Intrigued and slightly alarmed, I dug deeper, only to be presented with an article in Vice magazine. There it was: Holodex VR. The name, the concept—it was everything I had dreamed of, the kind of groundbreaking innovation that had lived rent-free in my head for years. And the Vice article? The kind of glowing publicity I’d spent sleepless nights chasing.

But this wasn’t my doing. I had no part in it. Somehow, my vision had materialised without me.

Then the penny dropped: Derek. It was glaringly obvious who was behind this. He had taken the Holodex name and leveraged it for his own initiative, using his roster of performers to populate the platform. It wasn’t just a betrayal of trust—it was a knife to the gut, a bitter reminder of how easily ideas can be stolen, twisted, and executed by those with more resources and fewer scruples.

Chapter 44 - Sky Response

Around Christmas one year, something incredible happened—something that still feels surreal when I think about it. It started innocently enough: Lee, my boss, sent out an email asking everyone to share their personal highlight of the year. For most people, this was probably a routine task, but not for me. Without hesitation, I wrote, "Seeing spaceships for real." It was a bold move, sure, but it felt like the right thing to say. I hit send, feeling strangely liberated.

I was in the office when I sent the email, sitting quietly at my desk as others wrapped up their work. Soon, it was time to go home, and nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. As I stepped outside, I glanced up—and there they were.

The sky was overcast, thick with clouds, but through that haze, an arrangement of UFOs appeared, moving together in a perfect, deliberate formation. My heart raced, not with fear but with awe. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen them, but this felt different. It felt... personal.

Chapter 43 - When Holodex Fell Into the Void

In 2015, the fate of Holodex took a dramatic turn. The site went down, and I can only assume Derek thought I was rolling in cash, refusing to share the wealth. If that were the case, surely the shutdown would have sent a clear message: there was no fortune to be had, just a dream struggling to stay afloat.

But why did it all come crashing down? The truth is, I was grappling with a whirlwind of personal upheaval. My mind was still reeling from an unforgettable UFO sighting—an experience that shattered my perception of reality and left me questioning everything. On top of that, I’d recently undergone a QHHT (Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique) session that blew my mind even further. And I walked away with something else too—an unsettling sense of purpose and paranoia.

I started to wonder: was working on porn-related projects like Holodex a mistake? Did I have some greater role, a mission even, to share the message of ZetaTalk with a wider audience? It felt like the universe was pointing me in a new direction, challenging me to rethink my path.

Chapter 42 - The Colleague Who Wouldn’t Read

Sharing my confessional story felt like exposing my soul to the world—a risky but necessary endeavour. I handed copies to colleagues, some of whom I trusted, others I simply wanted to see the person behind the pages. Most responded warmly, offering kind words or thoughtful critiques. But there was one who stood out, not for what he said, but for what he didn’t.

I’ll call him Greg. Greg was younger and louder, always acting like he ran the place despite a decade less experience. If I suggested blue, he’d shout red from the rooftops. If I worked late, he’d show up early, making sure everyone noticed.

When I handed him a copy of my book, his reaction was immediate and dismissive. He gave the cover a cursory glance and said, “You didn’t mention me in here, did you?”

I was caught off guard. “No, Greg, it’s not about you. It’s about my life and the things I’ve been through.”

“Yeah, well, maybe I’ll give it a read when you decide to write something more… inclusive,” he said with a smirk, tossing the book onto his desk like it was a piece of junk mail.

Chapter 41 - Full Circle

The encounter in the park reignited a part of me that had been dormant for years—a desire to connect with the mysteries of the universe and share them with the world. In many ways, it felt like life was guiding me back to the passions of my childhood, but this time with the tools, experiences, and wisdom I’d accumulated over the years.

One of the most profound ways this manifested was through my collaboration with Nancy Lieder, the mind behind ZetaTalk. Nancy had always been a source of inspiration to me, her work aligning perfectly with my own fascination with extraterrestrial life. Her teachings about the universe, humanity’s place within it, and the role of extraterrestrial beings deeply resonated with me. So, when the opportunity arose to work with her, it felt like destiny.

Together, we created The Moon, a newspaper dedicated to ZetaTalk and its insights. It wasn’t just a project—it was a labor of love, a way to channel my lifelong interest in aliens and the unknown into something tangible.

Chapter 40 - The Encounter

After returning to London, life felt like a blur of responsibilities, projects, and rebuilding. But on June 7th, 2014, everything changed. That day, in a quiet park, I had a life-changing experience that forever altered how I viewed the world and my place in it.

It started as an ordinary day, nothing particularly remarkable about the weather or my mood. I’d gone to the park to clear my head, as I often did when life felt overwhelming. The open sky, the distant hum of city life, the laughter of strangers—it was grounding. Little did I know, this serene setting would soon become the backdrop for something extraordinary.

It began subtly, almost imperceptibly at first—a strange glimmer in the sky. I thought it might have been sunlight catching on a plane or a bird. But as I focused, I realised it wasn’t just one object; there were many.

Over 50 UFOs.

Chapter 39 - After my QHHT Session

I'm not sure I can put into words how magical it was. At the start of the session, I remember lying there with a quiet skepticism, wondering if this was all in my head. It felt awkward at first, like trying to force a conversation with someone you’ve just met. I questioned everything—Was this real? Was I just imagining things? But about ten minutes in, something shifted.

I felt myself drift further and further, like falling into the softest, most reassuring dream. Suddenly, it wasn’t just me lying there anymore. It was as though I’d tapped into a source so vast and so profound, I could barely comprehend it. It felt like God—or something infinitely wise—was speaking directly through me, using my voice but not my mind. It was as if ChatGPT-level intelligence had come to life inside me, giving me answers to questions.

Chapter 38 - Meeting Dolores

By 2014, life had felt like a whirlwind—moments of triumph mixed with setbacks that seemed almost impossible to navigate. And yet, on my birthday that year, I stumbled upon something that would profoundly impact my life: a woman named Dolores Cannon.

I’ll admit it—I’ve always had a knack for finding wisdom in unexpected places, especially from extraordinary older women. Dolores wasn’t just a curiosity—she was a revelation. Her work in Quantum Healing Hypnosis Technique (QHHT) opened a door to a world I hadn’t considered before, but that felt strangely familiar.

Dolores’s sessions weren’t about typical therapy or even conventional healing. They delved into the subconscious mind and explored the mysteries of past lives and the soul’s journey. The more I read about her methods, the more I knew I had to try it. It felt like she was speaking directly to a part of me that had always been searching for something deeper—a connection to the universe, a purpose, a plan.

Chapter 37 - Volgograd

The morning of December 29th in Volgograd began like any other: the hum of early commuters, the rhythmic clatter of trains, and the crisp chill of winter in the air. My wife and I had planned to head to the railway station to buy our return tickets. It was supposed to be a simple errand. But true to form, I couldn’t peel myself off the mattress.

She had nudged me awake several times, frustration mounting with each attempt. "We need to go," she insisted, her tone a mix of urgency and exasperation.

"Five more minutes," I mumbled, pulling the blanket tighter around me. Morning had never been my forte, and this was no exception.

Her glare was palpable, but she eventually gave up and sat by the window, arms crossed, waiting for me to stir. By the time I finally dragged myself out of bed, laziness had turned into procrastination. We decided we’d go later—what was the rush, anyway?

And that decision, as inconsequential as it seemed at the time, saved our lives.

Chapter 36 - Vic

She wasn’t just a friend—she was the first person who ever believed in Holodex. It started with a modest investment and a few early ideas, but even then, it felt like I had something real in my hands—something I was pushing toward with every bit of my energy. But as the project grew, so did the distance between me and the people I had once considered close.

Vic and I had been practically inseparable at one point. We shared countless nights, laughter, and ideas. We’d dreamed about the future together, imagining what could be. So when she made the decision to invest, no matter how small, it felt like validation. It felt like she believed in me. But then, everything started to change.

Chapter 35 - The Eskimo Years

Life doesn’t always unfold in the way we plan. After returning to the UK, broke and defeated, I found myself in an unexpected and challenging role that would ultimately play a pivotal part in rebuilding my career. I became an Eskimo. It was a digital agency with a quirky name that aged badly.

Not the traditional kind, of course—this was a job title that spoke to the responsibilities I took on. As an Eskimo, I managed not just one, but multiple major projects simultaneously. In a way, I had to juggle the complexity of running two distinct ticketing platforms, a role I’d secured against all odds.

To say it wasn’t easy would be an understatement. Managing two ticketing platforms was no small feat. These platforms weren’t just your average ticketing systems—they were large-scale, bustling hubs that required constant attention. They were complex, filled with thousands of transactions, customer inquiries, and constant updates. If anything went wrong, the entire system could implode in a second. The pressure was immense.

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