Chapter 49 - Monk, The Moon, and a Message in the Crowd

After my UFO experience, I was buzzing with energy and ideas. I felt like I had stumbled upon something profound—something worth sharing. Fuelled by inspiration, I wrote down the story of my experience in detail. If people had actually read it, they might have seen how deeply it resonated with me and how much thought I had put into it. But the responses, or lack thereof, were disheartening. My story seemed to vanish into the void, met with indifference from those I shared it with.

One particular incident stood out during this time. There was a girl I used to work with named ‘Sarah’. She was incredibly sweet but had a bossy streak that could rub you the wrong way. While I was brainstorming ways to get my story out there, I got the idea to stand out to Capri Anderson. I thought if I could catch her attention, she might remember me and help deliver my story to Russell Brand. It was a bit of a long shot, sure, but I was determined.

To make an impression, I posted a public message that I hoped Capri would see. Sarah caught wind of it and took the opportunity to mock me at work. I wasn’t about to let her ridicule slide. I defended myself fiercely, pointing out that Capri was a real person I actually knew, not just some abstract idea. My reasoning? Well, my partner at the time had dreamt about Russell Brand, and the thought lingered in my mind. It felt like a sign, a cosmic nudge toward something larger.

I’ll admit, the whole situation was bizarre—a mix of heartfelt ambition, dream interpretation, and workplace drama. But that’s the way my life often seemed to play out: moments of serendipity tangled with skepticism from those around me.

Amazingly, Capri actually responded to my message. Whether she followed through and delivered it to Russell Brand, I’ll never truly know. But at that point, I decided to let the universe take over. If the message was meant to reach him, it would.

It felt like a strange twist of fate when I noticed Russell had begun performing small, local shows during his Trews era—a time when he was stirring the pot with controversial takes and thought-provoking commentary. Something about his shift in focus resonated with me, and before I knew it, I found myself regularly attending his events. “Stalking” might be a bit of an exaggeration, but I was definitely persistent in trying to figure out how to get my message to him.

Now, let me clarify something: I’m not the type to yell from the audience or make a big public scene. Shyness runs deep in my veins, so I needed a different approach. My plan was to get close to him, but without stepping too far out of my comfort zone. As luck would have it, Russell made that surprisingly easy. After his shows, he’d often linger, mingling with the audience. It didn’t take much to notice the pattern—he was presumably sticking around to pick up some skirt, as they say.

For me, his post-show routine was an opportunity. I wasn’t there to fanboy or fawn over him; I had a purpose, and I just needed the right moment. Week after week, I’d observe, trying to muster the courage and clarity to speak to him directly. It wasn’t easy, but the mix of hope, determination, and sheer awkwardness kept me coming back.

It all came down to one moment at work. Russell was doing another one of his small shows, and I decided it was time to finally put a copy of The Moon, a deeply personal ZetaTalk zine I’d made—directly into his hands. This wasn’t just an impulse; it felt like the culmination of everything I’d been working toward. There was just one problem: the show started at 5 PM, and it was a good 30 minutes away.

To make it, I’d have to leave work a little early. Now, I’d been at the company long enough to feel justified in granting myself this small favour. How often do you get to hand-deliver something to someone who might actually understand? So I made my decision and announced I’d be heading out before the end of the day.

That’s when Sarah found out. And, oh boy, it was like I’d declared war. Sarah, with her sweet-but-bossy demeanour, wasn’t having any of it. She acted like I’d committed some cardinal sin, and before I knew it, a full-blown office drama had erupted. To her, this was unacceptable—leaving early for something she couldn’t understand or see the value in.

But I wasn’t backing down. I stuck to my guns, calmly (or at least semi-calmly) explaining that this was something I had to do. No excuses, no backing out. The office could have its WW3 moment, but I was already mentally halfway to the venue.

When the clock hit my self-declared departure time, I grabbed my things and left. It felt a little rebellious, sure, but more than that, it felt right. This was my chance to connect with someone who might understand the bigger picture, someone who could take my story further than I ever could on my own.

After his gig, I stood in the crowd, watching Russell scan the room. His eyes darted across the faces, searching for something—or someone—and then they landed on me. For a split second, I froze. Did he recognise me? Before I could even process it, he started moving toward me, weaving through the audience with purpose. When we met in the middle of the room, he looked at me with that unmistakable Russell Brand intensity and said, "It's Monk, isn't it?"

I couldn’t believe it. Not only had he remembered me, but he’d clearly been reading my emails! That surreal moment hung in the air, validating every ounce of effort, every risk I’d taken to reach him.

From there, we drifted through the crowd together, heading toward the exit. My heart raced as we walked, knowing I had to make my move. By the time we reached the door, I felt the weight of The Moon in my hand—a tangible piece of my story, ready to cross into his world.

With one swift motion, I extended it to him. He took it without hesitation, like it was the most natural exchange in the world. And just like that, the door shut behind him.

For a moment, I stood there in disbelief. I’d done it. The Moon was in Russell Brand’s hands. Whether it would resonate with him, whether it would lead to something greater—I had no control over that. All I knew was that I’d seized the moment, and now it was up to the universe.

Maybe he read it on the train. Maybe he threw it in a bin. Either way, I gave it everything.


 

Dave Monk

  • Nationality: Welsh
  • Ethnicity: Caucasian
  • Eye Colour: Blue
  • Hair Colour: Brown
  • Tattoos: None
  • Star Sign: Aries
  • Bra Cup Size: n/a
  • Date of Birth: 46 ( 05 th Apr 1979 )
  • Weight: 60 kg

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Chapter 22 - The Birth of Holodex

Inspiration strikes in the most unexpected ways. For most people, it was a job like any other. For me, it became the birthplace of an idea that would change my life.

It all started with something so simple: a carousel of cutouts on my computer screen. They weren’t anything special, just cutout images spinning in a loop. It was a website featuring most of the UK’s top talent like Ant & Dec and Fearne Cotton etc… But as I stared at them, my mind started to wander. What if these weren’t just traditional cutouts? What if they were something more exciting?

What if they were porn stars?

The idea hit me like lightning. A carousel of performers, each one distinct and captivating, spinning in a seamless, interactive display. From that one thought, everything else started to fall into place. I imagined a platform that wasn’t just a list of names or a gallery of photos but a fully immersive experience where fans could connect with their favourite performers on a whole new level.

Chapter 21 - OnCampus

After leaving the Union, I found myself walking into what seemed like a dream opportunity. I moved to a company called OnCampus, which worked with students' unions across the country—around 40% of them, to be exact. It was exactly the kind of place I’d been hoping to land, offering me the chance to dive even deeper into the world of tech and digital development.

From the moment I stepped into the company, I was struck by how aligned everything felt with my ambitions. The business goals were ambitious, forward-thinking, and exactly what I needed to sharpen my skills. They weren’t just aiming to improve student life—they were building something that could change the way students interacted, connected, and communicated.

Chapter 20 - Faith in the Stars

Over the years, what started as an obsession with ZetaTalk became something much more profound. It wasn’t just a collection of theories and ideas anymore—it became a guiding force in my life, a lens through which I viewed the world. In a way, ZetaTalk became my religion.

I know how that might sound to some people—devoting yourself to something rooted in messages from extraterrestrial beings. But for me, it made perfect sense. The core of ZetaTalk wasn’t just about aliens or conspiracies; it was about understanding our place in the universe, the interconnectedness of all things, and the idea that there’s a plan bigger than any of us can comprehend.

The messages resonated with me on a level I can’t fully explain. They gave me comfort when life felt chaotic and meaning when I struggled to find it. It wasn’t about blindly believing everything I read—it was about interpreting those ideas, finding what felt true to me, and applying it to my own journey.

Chapter 19 - Stumbling Into ZetaTalk

By the time I was about 25, over 2 decades ago, life had taken me in so many different directions, but one thing remained constant: my obsession with the unknown. I’d never stopped searching for answers about aliens, convinced they were out there—had to be out there.

Then I stumbled across ZetaTalk.

You can imagine my reaction. A whole community devoted to extraterrestrial knowledge, conspiracy theories, and messages supposedly channeled from beings beyond our world. It was as if someone had taken all my wildest thoughts and organised them into an encyclopaedia. I couldn’t believe what I was reading.

For days, maybe months, I was consumed. I devoured page after page, diving deeper into ideas about government cover-ups, alien abductions, and the shadowy connections between humanity and beings from the stars. To me, this wasn’t just a curiosity—it felt like confirmation.

Chapter 18 - The Cry Wolf Chronicles

When I was working at the students' union, I saw something that bothered me—a glaring weakness that seemed ripe for the taking. Their newspaper, Cry Wolf, was… well, to put it bluntly, a bit of a mess. As a graphic designer, I couldn’t ignore it. The layout was lacklustre, the content sparse, and it just didn’t feel right. But there was something about it that made me think, This is something I could fix. I couldn’t resist.

The opportunity was like a secret door that had been left ajar. As someone who was constantly looking for ways to put my design skills to the test, this felt like fate. I wasn't just going to work on the paper—I was going to make it something special. I pitched my ideas to the team, and before I knew it, I was in charge of Cry Wolf. A two-man show, really, but it was just what I wanted. A small but ambitious team, and I was all in.

Chapter 17 - The Meat Market

During my time working at the students' union, I stumbled upon an unexpected haven of creative freedom. It was one of those rare environments where you could get away with almost anything, and I thrived in that chaos. Between shifts, I poured my energy into one of my earliest web projects: Meat Market.

The concept sounds ridiculous when I try to explain it, but I promise, it was great. Meat Market was a social network with a bizarre twist. Everyone on the platform became a unique cut of meat, assigned to you upon signing up. The system wasn’t just about chatting or posting updates—it had its own ecosystem. Players could take on roles as butchers, buy and sell "meat," and manage their very own virtual fridges.

It was absurd and tongue-in-cheek, but that was the point. The whole thing became a hilarious parody of online interactions, consumer culture, and even the commodification of ourselves on social platforms. The students loved it, partly because it was just so weird, and partly because it felt like an inside joke we were all in on.

Chapter 16 - The CV That Cost Me a Degree

Some people might call me stubborn, and they’d be absolutely right. Once I set my mind on something, there’s very little anyone can do to change it. That trait has been both a blessing and a curse in my life, and nowhere was it more evident than during my university years.

One of my early projects in university was to create a CV—simple enough on the surface, but I saw it as an opportunity to push boundaries. While most students were content with a straightforward Word document or a dull spreadsheet, I envisioned something that would leap off the screen. I wanted a CV that was alive, something that would make anyone who saw it stop in their tracks.

To pull this off, I needed to use Program B. The course, however, insisted we use Program A. To me, that wasn’t just a suggestion—it was a straightjacket. Program A couldn’t do what I wanted, not in the way I envisioned. I tried to explain this, to argue my case, but the lecturers wouldn’t budge. They didn’t see the bigger picture.

Chapter 15 - Hair

Growing up, my hair became a story all on its own. As a teenager, I was deeply into rock music—the louder, the better—and naturally, I let my hair grow long. It felt like a rite of passage, a declaration of rebellion against the neat and tidy norms of the world. But when I became a student, things took a peculiar turn.

I decided to stop brushing it altogether. The result? The worst dreadlocks you've ever seen. Not the sleek, purposeful kind that you might admire on a reggae artist—no, these were chaotic, matted tangles that looked more like a bird's nest than a hairstyle. I must have looked completely unhinged.

And yet, I functioned. I went about my life as if nothing was out of the ordinary. I dated, held down jobs, and navigated the world like any other adult. What amazes me to this day is that nobody ever said a word about it to my face. Not one person. Maybe they were too polite, too shocked, or simply unsure of how to approach the subject.

Chapter 14 - Half-life

While at university, we were living in a cramped but lively student house, one of those quintessential shared spaces where friendships were forged, arguments erupted over whose turn it was to clean, and late-night gaming sessions became the norm. Multiplayer gaming was our escape and our connection, a way to unwind after classes and deadlines. That shared digital escape gave me an idea—what if we could play through our own house?—I recreated our student house in a Half-Life map.

It started as a simple idea: bring our chaotic little world into the virtual one we spent so much time in. I’d sit at my desk, meticulously designing every detail with the Hammer editor, right down to the mismatched furniture in the living room, the pile of unwashed dishes in the kitchen, and the lopsided posters taped to the walls.

Chapter 13 - Kerrang!

Back in university, I had developed a newfound addiction to building websites. But with only one website project assigned throughout my entire course, I needed an outlet to channel my energy. And that’s when the idea struck me: Kerrang!

Kerrang, the iconic rock music magazine, seemed like the perfect subject for a project. So, without hesitation, I got to work and built them a website from scratch, entirely for free. It became my labour of love, my way of showing off what I could do. My plan was simple: send it to them and see if they’d actually use it.

Honestly, it looked pretty damn good for a student project—clean, fast, and bolder than most commercial music sites at the time. Yet, as is often the case, I received zero response. Nothing. It was as if the project never existed. Despite the radio silence, I took some pride in knowing I had beaten them to it. When Kerrang eventually launched their website two years later, I couldn’t help but smile — I’d gotten there first.

Chapter 12 - Apocalypse soc

When I arrived at Staffordshire University, I was just another wide-eyed student, lugging a suitcase of clothes and a head full of dreams. What I didn’t know then was that I was about to leave a legacy—something bigger than a degree, bigger than myself.

It all started with the internet. Staffordshire had this insanely fast connection, and the entire campus was wired together. For a gamer like me, it was paradise. I spent my first few nights glued to my computer, diving into the world of online gaming, feeling this incredible buzz from being part of something bigger, something interconnected. That’s when it hit me—why not take this energy and turn it into something real? Something that would bring people together in person, not just behind a screen.

Chapter 11 - University:

When I decided to go to university, I was just following the herd. It seemed like the "right" thing to do—society’s expected next step after school. But looking back, I didn’t think it through. I already had a passion for crafting magazines and was immersed in creative projects, so I picked a course that I thought would complement my interests.

From day one, it was like stepping into a museum exhibit of tech that time forgot. The software of choice? Adobe Authorware.

Yes, I know—exactly.

It was clunky, painfully dated, and no one in the real world was using it anymore. Meanwhile, I was head-over-heels in love with Macromedia Flash, the new kid on the digital block. Flash was alive—fluid, visual, interactive. Authorware? It felt like coding on a typewriter.

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